\WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN
> > SHOPPING
> >
> > After I retired, my wife insisted
> > that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
> > Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
> > preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate,
> > my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday
> > my dear wife received the following letter from
> > the local Target.
> >
> > Dear Mrs.
> > Samuel,
> >
> > Over the past six months, your
> > husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We
> > cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
> > both of you from the store. Our complaints against your
> > husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by
> > our video surveillance
> > cameras.
> >
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
> > and randomly put them in other people's carts when they
> > weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks
> > in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> > intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato
> > juice on the floor leading to the women's
> > restroom.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee
> > and told her in an official voice,
> > 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
> > right away'. This caused the employee to leave her
> > assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
> > Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
> > causing management to lose time and costing the company
> > money.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service
> > Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
> > layaway.
> >
> > 6.. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION -
> > WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the
> > camping department and told the children shoppers he'd
> > invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
> > from the bedding department to which twenty children
> > obliged.
> >
> > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if
> > they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
> > can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
> > were called.
> >
> > 9.. September 4: Looked right into
> > the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked
> > his nose.
> >
> > 10. September 10: While handling
> > guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where
> > the antidepressants were.
> >
> > 11. October 3: Darted around the
> > store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
> > Impossible' theme.
> >
> > 12. October 6: In the auto
> > department, he practiced his 'Madonna
> > look by using different sizes of funnels.
> >
> > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing
> > rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!
> > PICK ME!'
> >
> > 14. October 21: When an announcement
> > came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
> > screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
> >
> > And last, but not
> > least:
> >
> > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting
> > room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
> > loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
> > clerks passed out.
-- ARC23 - http://arcnwsptr.blogspot.com --

buschic's Thoughts - 80 things that girls NEED to know about guys..

buschic's Thoughts - 80 things that girls NEED to know about guys..

I found this on THE WEB [Thanks Em]


80 things girls should know before and during a relationship!

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than ALOT OF GUYS..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it
all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when there attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are
method, but iether way, no matter what you say your ex boyfriend is a loser.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

16. Guys are very open about themselves.

17. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

18. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

19. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

20. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

21. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

22. Guys will brag about anything.

23. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

24. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out
what it meant.

25. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

26. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

27. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

28. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

29. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the
girl.

30. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

31. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

32. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped!

33. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

34. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

35. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

36. Guys don't really have final decisions.

37. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

38. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

39. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

40. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

41. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

42. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

43. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

44. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

45. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

46. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

47. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

48. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

49. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

50. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

51. We don't like girls who are too skinny.

52. We love it when girls talk about there ass.

53. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ....

54. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just
ask them questions about their lives

55. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually.

56. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

57. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

58. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him
go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

59. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible!

60. We're not all as perverted as you think we all are.

61. Don't argue with us when we say you are hot, beautiful, or sexy cause if we say you're hot, beautiful, or sexy then you are. That's one of the reasons we're going out with you.

62. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

63. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.

64. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.

65. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............

66. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.

67. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.

68. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.

69. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong." and also sometimes when you're not right, we'll pretend you are anyway.

70. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.

71. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.

72. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.

73. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like your's better anyway.

74. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.

75. PMS is not an excuse.

76. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.

77. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on, and we really don't care what other guys look like for that matter either.

78. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind...lol

79. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfortable with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.

80. And for the real bitches: We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat, and still want to be friends.

-- ARC23 - http://arcnwsptr.blogspot.com --

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said,

'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

Forrest responds,

'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.

Life was a big enough test as it was.

St. Peter continued,

'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?'

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers'

Forrest replied,

'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'

The Saint's eyes opened wide andhe exclaimed,

'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.

'How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said,

'Twelve?

Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'

Forrest replied,

'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'?

'Sure,' Forrest replied,

'it's Andy.'

'Andy!' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.

'I learnt it from the song,

'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,and said:

'Run Forrest, run.'

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.

Give me the ability to understand a clean joke

To get some humor out of life,

And to pass it on to other folks.

-- ARC23 --

FROM: THE DOG Dear God

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

-- ARC23 --

Quote of the day

Quote of the day:
'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

-- ARC23 --

BEST EVER BLONDE JOKE?

BEST EVER BLONDE JOKE?

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . ......




(scroll down)




























"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

Dementia

Dementia


Below are four ( 4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)












First Question
:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<



Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you ove rtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :
If you overtake the last person, the n you are...? (scroll down)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?


You're not very good at this, are you?






Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator . Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 . Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100 .



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.



Fourth Question :

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?











~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.







PASS TH IS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day everyone

Costume Party

Costume Party

  A couple was invited to a swanky costume Party. She

got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to

the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested,

but she argued and said she was going to take some

aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his

good time being spoiled by not going. 

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife,

after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened

without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go

the party. 

Since her husband did not know what her costu me was,

she thought she would have some fun by watching her

husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband

cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with

every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel

here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to

him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left

his    current partner high and dry and devoted his

time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let

him go as far as he wished , naturally, since he was

her husband. 

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear

and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars

and had a little bang.  Just before unmasking at

midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume

away and got into bed, wondering what kind of

explanation he would make for his behavior. 

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she

asked what kind of a time he had.  He said: '- Oh, the

same old thing. You know I never have a good time when

you're not there.' 

- 'Did you dance much?' 

- 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When

I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other

guys, so we went into the den and played poker all

evening. But you're not going to believe what happened

to the guy I loaned my costume to.. .....

Energy effecient windows

Energy effecient windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind.

Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo'? 'It's been a year !,' I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Sick Leave;

Sick Leave;

I urgently needed a few days off work,
but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb
so that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out.
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
"..And where do you think you're going?!"
(You're gonna love this....)

She said, "I'm going home,too. I can't work in the dark

TOP 10 stupid PICK UP LINES ...

TOP 10 stupid PICK UP LINES ...

10) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

9) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

8) My Love for you is like diahorrea ... I can't hold it in.

7) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

6) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in
them.

5) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

4) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.

3) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

2) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until
the afternoon.

AND....

The number one pickup line is...........

1) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

Stores that sells new love

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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YouTube - Frank Caliendo - Impressions: "This is a compilation of some excerpts from my stand-up act, which you can get as a DVD on my website - http://www.FrankCaliendo.com. "

YouTube - Gmail: Behind the Scenes (Final Cut)

YouTube - Gmail: Behind the Scenes (Final Cut): "A compilation of clips submitted by Gmail fans as part of our collaborative video project. Selected from over 1,100 clips from fans in more than 65 countries. Learn more at http://mail.google.com/mvideo"