Abilities Arts Festival | Festivals | 2007 Festival | Film

Abilities Arts Festival | Festivals | 2007 Festival | Film: "PROJECTIONS 2: An International Disability Film Festival Innis Town Hall, Toronto November 1 - 4 2007

Through the power of film, PROJECTIONS 2 provides a forum for the examination of ideas, myths, fears and attitudes as portrayed by people with disabilities. PROJECTIONS 2 provides an opportunity to engage, stimulate discussion, challenge perceptions and expand awareness or simply entertain. From the more than 80 feature films that were received from around the globe, 39 films from 17 countries were chosen comprising an outstanding and diverse selection of documentaries, shorts, animations and experimental films. The films selected for screening at this 4-Day film showcase are written, produced, directed and/or star individuals with disabilities. In addition to film screenings, PROJECTIONS 2 will include post screening discussions with outstanding film-makers David Mitchell, Paul Nadler and Sharon Snyder. To ensure that all who want to attend can fully enjoy all aspects of PROJECTIONS 2, films will be Open Captioned (OC)and ASL interpreters will be available for filmmaker discussions. Innis Town Hall is fully accessible with plenty of space for individuals with wheelchairs and On-Site Attendant Services will also be available."

Energy effecient windows

Energy effecient windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind.

Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo'? 'It's been a year !,' I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Sick Leave;

Sick Leave;

I urgently needed a few days off work,
but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb
so that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out.
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
"..And where do you think you're going?!"
(You're gonna love this....)

She said, "I'm going home,too. I can't work in the dark

TOP 10 stupid PICK UP LINES ...

TOP 10 stupid PICK UP LINES ...

10) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

9) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

8) My Love for you is like diahorrea ... I can't hold it in.

7) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

6) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in
them.

5) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

4) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.

3) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

2) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until
the afternoon.

AND....

The number one pickup line is...........

1) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

Stores that sells new love

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Order of Canada - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Order of Canada - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The Order of Canada is Canada's highest civilian honour within the Canadian system of honours, with membership awarded to those who exemplify the Order's Latin motto Desiderantes meliorem patriam, which means '(those) desiring a better country' (Hebrews 11:16). Created in 1967, the Order was established to recognize the lifetime contributions made by Canadians who made a major difference to Canada. The Order also recognizes efforts made by non-Canadians who have made the world better by their actions. Musicians, politicians, artists, television and film stars, benefactors, and many more have been accepted into the Order. The Queen of Canada, Queen Elizabeth II, is Sovereign of the Order and the serving Governor General of Canada is its Chancellor and Principal Companion. Since its inception, 5,268 people have been appointed to the Order of Canada."

CBC News In Depth: Tech: Internet - Podcasts

CBC News In Depth: Tech: Internet - Podcasts: "Most of us of are busy people — we run from one event to another, multi-tasking madly, and this frenetic pace comes with benefits and costs. However, the toll these demands take on our ability to form well-reasoned opinions is one that's considerably under-appreciated. This can have consequences, not the least of which is the susceptibility to being blindly led by those who agree with our 'gut' feeling or are merely skilled at conveying their message."

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I'M WITH LARRY

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikipedia, the free
encyclopedia: "Curb Your Enthusiasm is an American sitcom starring Seinfeld writer, co-creator, and executive producer Larry David as himself. Since its 2000 series debut, the HBO show has enjoyed wide critical acclaim and a steadily growing, dedicated audience that has helped it emerge from its early cult status. Through 2004, it has been nominated for twenty Emmy Awards (winning one) and has won a Golden Globe for best television comedy (2003). It is the fifth highest rated TV show on metacritic.com. Fans often refer to the show as Curb. The series was inspired by a 1999 one-hour mockumentary titled Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, which David and HBO had originally envisioned as a one-time project. Season 6 premiered on September 9th, 2007"

Black Monday (1987) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Black Monday (1987) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "In financial markets, Black Monday is the name given to Monday, October 19, 1987, when the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) dropped by 508 points to 1739 (22.6%),[1] and on which similar enormous drops occurred across the world. By the end of October, stock markets in Hong Kong had fallen 45.8%, Australia 41.8%, Spain 31%, the United Kingdom 26.4%, the United States 22.68%, and Canada 22.5%. (The terms Black Monday and Black Tuesday are also applied to October 28 and 29, 1929, which occurred after Black Thursday on October 24, which started the Stock Market Crash of 1929.)"

Abilities Arts Festival - A Celebration of Disability Arts and Culture

Abilities Arts Festival - A Celebration of Disability Arts and Culture: "Abilities Arts Festival is a disability arts organization that promotes diversity, inclusiveness and the power of art as a means of enriching the cultural fabric of our communities. Through multidisciplinary, visual, film and performing arts festivals, workshops and special events, Abilities Arts Festival showcases artistic excellence by artists with disabilities. The festival uses dynamic and powerful artistic presentations by artists with disabilities to positively impact attitudes and to help ensure an arts and culture sector that is both inclusive of people with disabilities and one that is enhanced through their participation."

YouTube - Facebook Song

YouTube - Facebook Song: "The ULTIMATE Facebook Song from Rhett and Link"

BBC NEWS | Health | Mother seeks girl's hysterectomy

BBC NEWS | Health | Mother seeks girl's hysterectomy: "Alison Thorpe, 45, from Essex, says 15-year-old Katie, who has cerebral palsy, would be confused by periods and they would cause her indignity."

BBC World Service | 75 Years

BBC World Service | 75 Years: "This year the BBC World Service celebrates 75 years of broadcasting. In this audio archive, each of those years will be looked at in a special one-minute-long programme, based on our vast radio archive."

Sputnik 1 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sputnik 1 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Sputnik 1 (Russian: 'Спутник-1', 'Satellite-1', or literally 'Co-traveler-1' byname ПС-1 (PS-1, i.e. 'Простейший Спутник-1', or Elementary Satellite-1)) was the first artificial satellite to be put into geocentric orbit. Launched by the Soviet Union on October 4, 1957, it was the first satellite of the Sputnik program"

Sputnik program - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sputnik program - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Sputnik 1 was launched on October 4, 1957. The satellite was 58 cm (about 23 in) in diameter and weighed approximately 83.6 kg (about 183 lb). Each of its elliptical orbits around the Earth took about 96 minutes. Monitoring of the satellite was done by Amateur radio operators."