Wednesday, May 10, 2006

YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...

YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you turn up the radio excitedly at the sound of dead air on your competitor's station.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you have 37 unlabeled 15 minute cassettes in your back seat.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you listen to the radio "invertedly", turning up the volume during promos, sweepers, and talksets, and flipping to another station during music.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you drive around aimlessly looking for an unlit 4 tower array just to see it.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you swear at the competition while driving when you hear a song they beat you to.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you've ever heard of a "cart".
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you tell someone you plan to go to lunch "coming up next hour".
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you have 125 unopened CDs you'll never listen to but, never more than $3 cash.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you use phrases like "If I was programming the music, I would NEVER/ALWAYS/etc..."
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you have lived in six cities in eight years.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you remember what "When you play it, say it!" means.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......You get excited at sunset and drive by the towers just to hear the phase shift.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you know at just what mile marker a certain station will/will not come in.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you kicked the transmitter up to 50,000 Watts at night just so your friends to the south could hear you (even if it was just for a few minutes)...
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you drive north/south/east/west just to get that certain station.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you drive a $500.00 piece of crap while the sales weasels have $50,000 Lexus.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF .....You put up with it.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......You find yourself talking to yourself all the time to see how you sound.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you base your trip plans on what stations you want to hear.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you get a memo about how to report overtime and you wonder which overtime is overtime.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......two days off in a row is considered a "long weekend."
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you can recite the five-day forecast from memory.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you forgot what kind you music you like, but instead like songs because they sound good after the jingle.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you work on holidays.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you have been listening to the football game your station is airing for two hours and you don't know who's winning.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you can tell what time it is when listening to the radio even if they don't give the time.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you have dozens of tapes of radio stations that play music you don't like.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you listen to a station that's barely coming in.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you tune in to a station before it signs on.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......your maps are covered with circles and dots.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you are a "seasoned pro" after two years in the business.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you have a dozen radios, but you need them all.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you have copies of both the album version and radio edit.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you aren't a sports fan but you know who won and when they play next.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you have recurring nightmares about bad airshifts filled with dead air.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF......you interview the governor and drive off in a junker.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO.....At Christmas dinner, you backsell the Christmas presents, explaining that "Unopened ones around the corner, stick around".
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....when the hotline rings you break into a cold sweat.
YOU MIGHT BR IN RADIO IF....your production/remote load exceeds your airshift and your friends ARE NOT in radio when they say you "have it made" working 4 hours just playing music.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....you begin to like the music you are playing even though you have been faking it for years.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you can run to the can, drop a load while smoking a cigarette and make it back for the last 15 seconds of a 4 min. song.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you keep telling yourself,"this chick on the phone really might be hot...this could be the one".
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...said chick turns out to really be hot and your one goal is to have sex under the tower in back.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....every time you screw up the Program Director is listening and calls in to tell you how bad you are and he misses the 4 hours of dead air your idiot co-worker had.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you're called 10 minutes before a shift starts and told you have to work it and you live 20 minutes away.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF..... you can recite all the spots in a break.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF..... the one time you need the power generator is the one day the electrician didnt have time to hook it up.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you have ever had to call a supervisor more then once on the same day at 3 A.M.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...your chief engineer has ever had to talk you through how to fix a transmitter from over a cell phone.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... the equipment at your station decides to stop working properly and just go to hell on a holiday weekend when no one can be reached.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....you recite I.D's and sweepers from different stations just to annoy your friends.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....when your at home and you answer the phone and give the stations call letters.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you answer the phone and tell someone their caller ..6
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....you do an air shift in your dreams.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...on a holiday weekend, you're the only one at the station.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF... you talk about how much better your competition's webcast sounds over your stations actual broadcast.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you are on the air every holiday.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF....you talk to friends in a "radio voice"
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you have ever taped a boring conversation with someone and turned it into something funny.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you can hit the post on any ramp in your playlist, but can only sing the hooks from songs that are in your music promos.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you have a CD player in your car, but no tape deck, and are mad! (because you can't listen to your aircheck from that day).
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you are well into your thirties and have been hit on by a 13-year-old girl on the request line.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you hate everyone's favorite song because it doesn't have an intro.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...when you think of your fantasy girl or guy it is always someone in a band - not a movie star.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you actually own white cassette tapes.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you don't know whether to introduce yourself at parties...with your air-name or your real name.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you know how long it takes you to take a dump by song title.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...two months ago when you worked at the car wash you could jog a mile without being out of breath and now it is tough for you to get from your car to the LazEboy.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you know what temperature it is.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you make your friends listen to airchecks and they have no idea what you are talking about.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you refer to nighttime as "the weekend"
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you don't assume DJs are attractive...
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO.....if you hear your competition using catch phrases and you pull over to the side of the road screaming, "Thats mine Damnit!" - while your kids look at you as if you've finally snapped.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO.....if you tell your wife/girl/boyfriend, "Coming up next hour we'll be hearing from the inlaws, plus we have a new dinner today you're going to really like..."
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO.....if the first time you voice-tracked a shift, you stayed up until 4 A.M. to catch every break.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO.....if your boss mispelled your last name and called you Dennis for the first six months, and asked you how you like working at the Country station when you worked at the hot Adult Contemporary station next door.
YOU MIGHT BE IN RADIO IF...you have found that 7-inch reels of tape DO decay over time when stored in the garage.

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