I Love Laughter - You know you're attending an Electronic Church if......

You know you're attending an Electronic Church if......


- The pastor reads his sermon from a palm-held computer "notepad"

- There are cell-phone chargers next to the pew-pencil drill holes

- MCI takes out full-page ads in the church bulletin

- At the church flea market, used cell phones and answering machines
outnumber bowling balls, blenders and electric can-openers.

- When the bells are rung at the end of the service, half the
congregation reaches into pockets or purses to see if it was for them.
(Theologically speaking, of course, it was.)

- The parish not only has an Internet web site, the parish council has
discussed petitioning the bishop to change the parish name to "All
Saints Domain"

- Everyone in the parish assumes everyone knows what "domain" means

- People without email addresses are referred to as "the needy"

- As an April Fool's Day joke on the pastor, several of the teenagers
hid their pagers around his office, then called them all
simultaneously. Apparently it did not startle him. He said he felt
like he was at Sunday liturgy.

- During coffee and doughnuts after services, people are overheard
wondering if confession by email would be "licit." Someone thinks
"licit" is the name of a new software company.

- A petition is circulating to partition the prayer room, creating a
"beepers-on" section.

- To quiet fussy 2-year-olds, handing them pagers on "vibrate" is more
common than handing them Cheerios.